Citing two Trump administration officials, NBC News reports that “the entire East Wing of the White House will be demolished ‘within days'” to make room for something called either (depending on who you ask) the White House State Ballroom or the Donald J. Trump Ballroom at the White House — a 90,000-square-foot, 900-capacity party venue.

Concept illustrations, as one might expect with any Trump project, resemble storyboards from a prospective The Simpsons Take Versailles! film.

Because the project is to be funded with influence buys … er, “donations” — from Trump’s would-be big business cronies, one person recently told me how great it is that “the people” will get a beautiful ballroom at “no expense to the taxpayer.” Really? When do my wife and I get an invite to strut our tango stuff there?

Unlike some, I’m not bothered by the kitschy concept art (it’s Trump, whaddayagonnado?), the partial demolition of the White House (I’d be glad to see the whole thing gone for good), or the corporate influence-buying (at least with Trump it’s all done right out in the open).

However, it seems to me that this is the kind of government project that cries out for public input, comments, and suggestions, and I have an alternative proposal to offer:

First, once the East Wing is demolished, leave it demolished.

Second, if the rest of the building isn’t going to come down too, deed the remaining ruin to a non-profit, funded entirely by voluntary donations, with the mission of running it as a museum.

While I’d prefer to see those two things as part of a larger package based on the historical fate of Carthage, I’ll try to take a more moderate line here, based on the presumption that we’re going to let the federal government exist a little while longer. So:

Third, either fund an allowance for Trump and future presidents to rent small apartments of their choice, or lease (in perpetuity, or until we dissolve the US government) a suite at the Willard Hotel as living quarters for presidential households.

Fourth, set aside some office space in the Capitol Complex for the use of the president and his or her staff.

Not a LOT of office space, mind you — just enough for the president and staff to do their constitutionally mandated duties, which are mainly minor administrative and ceremonial functions.

For ceremonial functions that draw crowds, give the president scheduling priority for use of Lafayette Square. I’m sure the government can find a few pop-up canopies and a suitable caterer. Burrito bar, anyone? Someone tell JD Vance to pick up a couple of kegs of domestic beer. Ask Linda McMahon to drag the cornhole set out of her garage. Karaoke after dinner!

This whole “the president is so special” thing has gotten way out of hand. Time to trim the fat. Let the White House stand if we must, I guess, but turn it into a reminder of our past errors rather than a symbol of pretend current greatness.

Thomas L. Knapp (X: @thomaslknapp | Bluesky: @knappster.bsky.social | Mastodon: @knappster) is director and senior news analyst at the William Lloyd Garrison Center for Libertarian Advocacy Journalism (thegarrisoncenter.org). He lives and works in north central Florida.

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